A Champion :)

so emmeline takes therapeutic riding lessons at Spirit Horse. It is a non-profit riding center that provides FREE riding lessons for disabled kids. Emmeline loves it!!! she has done really well there and is best friends with her horse Eeyore. our biggest challenge so far is her sensory issue. she really doesn't want to touch Eeyore with both of her hands at one time. this is a problem because we want her to do something called two point. she needs to be able to do this to trot which is really good for muscle strengthening. anyway, we have been working on this for quite a while and normally when we do, she shuts down and wants off the horse. well, today SHE DID IT!!!!! several times!! we are very excited! as we were leaving we saw the owner and he made sure she got this cute ribbon!! she has been wearing it every where and chatting with everyone about it!!

admiring her ribbon.

So happy!


205 and 33

so this is the 205 lifetime post for this blog and the 33 this year. 33 is an all time high for me! i am really trying harder to be good about updating my blog. usually what happens about now is that i start to think that no one really wants to hear about my life. usually because it is to boring but now days i think it has more to do with the downer level. i will do my best to do the occasional fun/light post. Even better i will try to mean it.

i have been wondering what i was going to do for this post for several weeks. it seems like it should be something important. i got nothing. well, nothing new important.

i felt like i was going crazy waiting for emmeline's testing to be done earlier this week. really, really crazy. i think i can say it was probably a new low for me. really, really low. another mother of a child with special needs was trying to console me through the whole thing and said something i was totally feeling. mom's who have medically complicated children usually suffer from post traumatic stress disorder. that is totally what i feel like. so even though things are going well and she passed her test i am still "damaged" from it. i will carry that damage forever. even when it heals there will still be that scar. hopefully it will be enough of reminder next time that i made it through this time to give me a boost. i joke with my friends that say "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger". my response is "yeah or it cripples you forever!"

anyway, i was trying to distract myself. so...i started a sewing project. better yet, i actually finished it!
i got the pattern here. i happened to stumble onto is blog with the random blog button in yet another effort to stay busy.

I just want to say i am totally disgusted with the picture quality here. i hate dealing with the camera and mac non-compatibility so i had to take pictures with my cell and email them to myself. lame.

here is some detail of the face. you can't see very well but each of the pieces were sewn together then to the next biggest piece and so on. and then all the way around the edges. it took a long time.

my finger is super sore and my back was killing me from sitting in a hard chair for so long but i love the results! they are a little big on them still but i would rather to big then to small. the reason my finger still hurts is that i i sewed EVERYTHING by hand. the pattern did not call for that but i was having trouble with the stitch tension on my sewing machine and i didn't want to have to keep puling out stitches. i think i damaged the nerves in the tip of my finger.

i quickly discovered that my mind could still do other things while i sewed stitch after stitch. so...i listened to conference talks. FINALLY. i find even if i turn on conference i don't really get much out of it with the girls around. this was way easier. plus i didn't have to listen to (let's be honest) the boring stuff. anyway, i thought there were quite a few great talks. plus i can enjoy anything by President Eyring :)

i also cleaned. ALOT. i don't think my house has ever been so clean. i was even folding the laundry before it was knee deep in my room. pretty much anything to keep my busy. busy is good. i pretty much enjoy any type of cleaning. except the dishes. that was always the worst job growing up and i still feel that way. no one wants to do the dishes.

i guess this isn't the most exciting 205 and 33 post. my life isn't very glamorous right now. well, not in the way anyone would want to see. i think i built it up to much in my head. i probably do that too much anyway. oh well, a new week with new tests is on it's way.

i think i need to start another sewing project.


14 Good Years

i was rushed when i went couponing yesterday morning. Em had therapy at 9am and i knew if i waited until after therapy i would only be able to fit in walgreens or target instead of both. well, walgreens was out of several of the items i wanted to i was going to get some rainchecks. due to some unforeseen overage i ended up taking longer then expected and in my haste i forgot my rainchecks. no big deal i thought. i will just run by after i get isa from school and pick them up and that is exactly what i did.
as i was standing at the counter chatting with one of my favorite cashiers a patron came over and said
"i'm sorry to interrupt but a white car outside slipped out of gear and rolled into another car. the Nissan is white. the cashier's car is white. we both ran outside to see who it was. i was the winner. or rather the loser. my car was across the parking lot half on a bush and half on...the manager's car.
this may sound bad but i automatically felt better. at least it was someone i knew and that knew me. yes i know pretty much every employee at walgreens. some i like better then others. this one is nice. i am just glad i have always behaved when having to deal with managers and that i brought them those cookies at christmas. my immediate fear in an accident is that the person will try and screw me over.
i just have to say that i really like the employees at the walgreen on Loop 288 in Denton. as i was going back and forth outside and inside they swooped in and took care of the girls for me. at one point i came in and found emmeline cuddled up on the cashiers shoulder while she rang a customer up. SUPER nice. another perk is we have the same insurance companies. that "should" make things go a little smoother.
i just hate dealing with accidents. so much red tape and phone calls, repeating what happened to around 10 different people. i think they are just trying to trip you up. that is where i am hoping the same insurance will come in handy. either way they have to pay.
the big perk is that there were no people in car. i am go grateful and no one was hurt in our cars or while having to avoid my rolling car.
my last accident was 14 years ago. i fell asleep on the way to work after school and rear ended someone. luckily no one was really hurt then either. which was amazing because my car didn't have an airbag and the other car's seat belts failed. hopefully this isn't increasing my chances statistically that i will be in an accident where someone actually does get hurt.


I Will Make It Through This Life, I Will Make It Through This Life...

Let me start by saying that if anyone says "this too shall pass" I will turn you into a bug, and put you in a box, then i'll put that box in another box, then i'll mail that box to myself and SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!!!! OK let's get on with it.

em wont swallow anything. When i say anything i mean not even her spit. Over that last two weeks i have watched my little villain deteriorate before my very eyes. At first i thought she was just being stubborn. she is after all very good at that. but as she got worse day by day the fear set in. something is wrong. better yet, something is wrong and no body knows what. as a parent this is unacceptable to me. i have only been in this situation once before. I personally believe someone shouldn't have to go through this more then once in a life time. i felt like it aged me like ten years. so, after this one i guess i will look closer to 50.

So, since they have no idea what it is, we have a whole set of tests to do. Swallow study next tuesday (this one scares me the most), then an MRI, then our #10 specialist Nephrology. After that i figure they will ask for a scope of her throat. Not sure why they aren't doing that now. I seriously should get a medical degree for all this. we also did a blood draw yesterday for food allergies. The reason we have a #10 is because she still has Acidosis. Once again, no one knows why.

i am really not good at waiting. i mean really, really not good. let's hope for Em's sake that my lack wont keep her sick. i am a girl that needs a plan. i am good at following plans. we're friends.

on an upside, which also has the doctors scratching their heads, Em is talking a TON. real words and everything!


my patriotic cutie

so way back before spring break isa was asked to say the pledge of allegiance at the denton isd school board meeting. she was very excited about it. 10 students out of her whole school were chosen so she felt pretty special. she was very particular about her out fit. aunt terra sent her a little yellow jacket that she wears every chance she gets. in fact she is wearing it today. i have to hide it or she tries to put it on everyday.
luckily emmeline was pretty well behaved for us. we only had to stay until right after the pledge and then we all ducked out. good thing. i heard that meeting was around 5 hours.

em got a little excited and was all over josh.

so cute. i love the red shoes!

she was really sweet and wanted em in the picture with her.


The Newest Adventure

Ketoadicosis. That is what my 2 year old had. add VERY dehydrated and we had a BIG problem. one urine cath and 2 blood draws later she seems to be stable. we are waiting to hear back from her cardiologist to move further. The GREAT news is she isn't diabetic! there wasn't a huge chance of her having it but i have learned she likes to play the odds. thankfully she has started eating a bit again. she had gone 4 days with no food!!! needless to say i was a wreck.
the part about this whole ordeal that stresses me the most is the fact that she has lost a pound. which means we are 1.5 pounds behind our goal for her to gain enough wait to repair her ASD by catheter this fall. so... the surgery is pretty much out of the question. unless her surgeon decides that if we are close then they can do it. i'm not holding me breath. well, not for that.
even though this week has been rough at least it was rough at home and not the hospital. thank goodness for the g-tube. it worked great as an at home IV.
i have been reading random people's blogs lately and i found one written by a mom who has a child with alot of medical issues. something she said made me chuckle in agreement.
"My child will probably live to be 150 and i'll probably die young from an [emmeline] induced heart attack." so true.


A Few Things I've Done When I Wasn't Crying

So I think it's pretty obvious from several of my previous posts that I cry more then the average adult woman. But I am occasionally do things other then cry. surprising i know but after a while i get pretty dehydrated so...here are a few things i did during my cry breaks.

I built another book shelf!

some time about a year ago i built the first one. The plans had enough wood for two but i was totally exhausted after the first one and i'm sure my neighbors were tired of hearing me hammer, so i opted to save the wood for another time. i decided spring break was "another time". It started off just as bad if not worse then the first. this time i had emmeline all over me so that made it a bit harder. i gave up after the wood kept splitting. after called josh to complain about it i decided that i had not stored that wood in my dining room for a year only to throw it out and i was going to build a bookshelf out of it no matter what. once again i learned how amazing wood filler and sand paper are. i think i actually like it better then the first but that might have something to do with the lack of aquatic color choices.

Then i decided to revamp my coupon storage system. any couponer knows what an undertaking that can be.

here is how i used to carry my coupons around. this bag could weigh anywhere between 20-45 pounds. plus my purse and a wiggly Emmeline. it was tough getting up the 3 flights to the apartment.

here are the insides of the bag

next i had to clip all the coupons i would need. this is somewhat of a judgement call as i didn't want to cut out everything. in the end it was still alot but i'll figure out exactly what i need over the next few weeks.

then i has to organize them by my categories.

then loaded them in my binder.

i LOVE the finished product. i can find whatever i need super fast now.
josh helped me come up with the name. pretty cool.

my scissor/calculator pocket

my store coupon policy pocket.

It is so nice to finally be done with this. it took a lot longer then i thought it would. it is super nice to be out and find something on clearance and be able to flip in my book to see if i have a coupon. saves to much time and makes full use of my coupons.

so there. no need to call DSS quite yet. i occasionally do productive things.