And The Heavens Were Opened

many of you know how hard it has been for me to find any new (decent) doctors here. the problem i have noticed it that there are doctors everywhere. since there are so many they don't care if you come to there practice since they have plenty of other clients. also since they have plenty of clients none of them take medicaid, which is a must for emmeline. i had resigned myself to a doctor in town that all the "poor" (medicaid) families said was good. he had a separate well child and sick child waiting area which was better then any of the other choices had so i went there.
i didn't like him. he was very touchy feely with the kids, interrupted me constantly, would walk out of the room while i was still talking, and act like he was listening when i told him what i needed for emmeline and then just do whatever he wanted. also, all the other patients seemed to the ink the two waiting areas were just to have more space so there were sick people everywhere and he had carpeting and stuffed animals int eh exam rooms! germ city!
after several encounters with him and having him screw up two of her prescriptions twice i had had it! i decided that right when i got back from christmas i would have to go else where. no matter what.
as a side note i had been begging to get into a doctors office that sees several of the other kids with CHARGE in the area. he has been closed to new patients for years however and with it being flu season he (his office manager) said to call back in the spring and maybe they could squeeze us in. i wasn't hopeful. i told my friend molly (she is letting us borrow her son's walker) about my troubles. her son is a patient of the doctor i wanted so she said she would talk to him. i was nervous about her doing that because i didn't want to annoy them. after all they didn't need my business. well...it worked. he agreed to take me. well, emmeline and isa. i scheduled their first appointment for as soon as i could after we got back. it got bumped. i was bracing for the worst. after all if this guy didn't work i was pretty sure i might get blackballed by the local pediatricians. even if i was willing to pay up front.
we went for our first visit yesterday. the office staff was very nice. as i sat waiting i heard one fo the doctors in the practice keep coming back to the nurse's desk to check on a patient. he sounded nice and better yet alot like my dr st clair. i assumed it was the younger doctor in the practice (dr day). i wondered if it would step on toes for me to switch from dr goff to dr day. either way i didn't have a lot of time to think about it because they took us back to our room. i only waited for 15 minutes! i couldn't believe it!
we also only waited in our room for about 5 maybe 10 minutes before the dr came in. low ans behold dr goff was the dr in the hallway i had seen. but wait, it gets better. he sat down and asked about emmeline, her history and what we wanted as a family. what?!
he went on to ask where she was born. i proceeded to tell him where and that is was a small town a bit east of Raleigh. then he perked up and said "i now exactly where that is. i went to wake forest for med school". WHAT!??!?!?! i was floored. one of his teachers was the doctor who put em's g-tube in! i was in love. better yet em liked him too! he was great with her. he has given us referrals to new specialists since all the ones we were using sucked (a story for another time). it was totally worth paying out of pocket for. every cent.

if that wasn't good enough all the specialists were very great too. one office said i sounded so sweet that they couldn't wait to meet me! seriously. so now we have a new round of doctors to see but i am ready now that i feel like i have a pediatrician i can count on. they even called this morning to make sure the home health company was contacting me about em's new mickey button. amazing!

i'm not even sure any of this makes sense. i am so giddy about it all i can't think straight. josh said my blog posts are always like that though but at least this time it is because i am so excited instead of so depressed. i guess he is right.


the readjustment...again

so i have to go back to me real life this week. i'm not really ready. i have started making phone calls to get us set back up there. we have a ton of doctor appointments when we get back. plus the fact that it looks like we will be putting Isabella back in school :(
i also found out right before we left that we are getting a new caseworker and a new "julie". oh, and we have emmeline's IFSP review during all this. i am hoping all this will go better in reality then it is in my head. but for some reason i am not optimistic.

i miss my old blog. i bet alot of people probably don't read this anymore. i probably wouldn't. i used to write about funny stuff. i have spent several weeks trying to come up with a "megan" topic but to no avail. man, that makes me sound lame. i miss the people who know me already and know that deep down i am a funny, slightly crazy person. not a crazy, slightly funny person.

i think i am going to have to cut myself off from my support groups. they are great when you have a problem but when everything is going well i just see all of the stuff that could go wrong before it even comes up. i had convinced myself that it helps me prepare for emmeline's future but at this level of anxiety and stress i don't know that i will make it that far.

i miss my bubble.

most of all, i miss the REAL me.