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josh and i were out shopping so we could spend some christmas money. i was having trouble .

nevermind. i actually can't even think right now. i'm wonder if this happens to alot of people. you know, when you can't even keep a straight thought in your head. it makes you feel a little crazy. but i don't even have time to think i'm crazy before that thought moves on making room for the next loudest. i just feel like i am rocking back and forth, back and forth. like if i keep doing that my mind will slow down. it never does though. i wonder why that is?

have you ever tried to cry. i mean really tried. it isn't very easy. usually you have to think if something sad which defeats the purpose. i try to cry to relieve stress or whatever and if i think of something sad then it just adds to my crappy feeling. i wonder why that is. i mean if you feel bad then you should be able to cry but it is like you are physically incapable.

i like to sit really still. that feels nice. it's weird because i don't get tired when i do that. it just feels good.

music feels good too. i like how it sounds but it is like i can feel it. not all music. it depends on my mood. it feels like a drug. i can feel my muscles relax and get warm.

i wonder what other people think. you see on tv all the time how that happens to someone and they go kind of crazy. i don't think it would bother me. i just wonder if i annoy them as much as they annoy me. i would assume yes.

why don't people just say what they mean? i think it would suck at first but then we would all get used to it and you wouldn't have to figure out what people really mean.

some people make me tingle. not in a sexual way. when i see them or talk to them i feel something. i wonder why?