Emotional Trick

Sometimes after a long period of stress or sadness I get this ache.  It's an odd sort of ache.  Kind of like that pain you get then you haven't moved a muscle for a while and it starts to stiffen up.  That is kind of what it feels like.  I figured out what it was the other day.  My happy is aching.
I know that sounds ridiculous and weird, but that is the best way I can think of to describe it.  It's like my happy emotion is always there but kind of gets pushed to the back and the stress/pain gets all the stimulation.  Then after a while it gets antsy/jealous.  It wants stimulation too.  Then my emotions have a nice little battle.  Stress gets a little more stressy because it stresses me out that I feel like I need to feel happy which in turn makes me feel less happy. It's a sick little cycle.
I've tired to do a few things to kick start it but so far nothing has panned out.  It seems like a fluke when it finally happens which is super frustrating!  It's like I have to trick myself into it because if I see it coming I inevitably get stressed!


Lord Beer Me Strength

A good old-fashioned rant.

I hate Emmeline's new riding instructor.  I'm not even sure I should call her that. I think I'll re-title her Emmeline's riding idiot.  So, This year we had to switch instructors because since Emmeline started AVT right on top of riding.  We ended up with someone I have never used before which always makes me nervous but I am getting kind of used to doing uncomfortable things so I tried it.  She is the worst.  Our first day she was late.  Not a good sign FYI.  Then she got there and started complaining about how tired she was because she had been moving all day the day before.
I feel like maybe I should explain something that you all probably already know.  I am VERY busy with Emmeline.   This has led to me being as efficient as possible with our time and appointments. We get things done.  Don't get me wrong, Emmeline still loves it.  It gets her the most riding time and she still gets to do everything else she likes.  It is a system that has worked well for us for years.
Along comes this idiot hippie, dumbing things down for me like I have been immersed in this kid for the last 5.5 years.  Correcting me left and right and telling me not to rush her when all I asked was if she was ready to get her saddle!  Then she acts like we don't know anything about this place or riding horses!  I can tell she's one of those crazy "life force" people who just want to stand there and feel the energy of life pulsing through their body.  I'll out my fist through your body!  If she tries to teach me one more thing about MY daughter I think I will hurt something!  SHE ACTUALLY TRIED TO EXPLAIN EMMELINE'S STROKE TO ME TODAY AND HOW IT WILL IMPACT HER!!!!  ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!!  I'm so mad I can't even think about it to type it coherently!
The deal breaker for me came when she interrupted Emmeline's brushing, which she loves, to make her play some stupid "game" where she makes her stand right in front of the horse and lets him sniff her and rub his nose on her.  Bad idea for several reasons.  1) Emmeline DIDN'T want to! 2) the reason why she didn't want to (IF IDIOT HAD ASKED!) is because she has no balance system and if that horse bumped her she would fall and she knows that! 3) she doesn't like textures touching her.  She doesn't mind touching them but she has to initiate.
I tried to talk to Emmeline to reassure her that it was OK and the idiot shushed me!!!! This woman has a death wish!  Then she proceeded to push Emmeline repeatedly to make her stand exactly where idiot deemed the best spot.  At that point I told her to stop that Emmeline didn't want to do it.  After the whole ordeal she came over to me glowing telling me that she was helping Emmeline not be afraid of her horse!  She has ridden that horse for 4 YEARS idiot!!  I swear I'm gonna lose it!