205 and 33

so this is the 205 lifetime post for this blog and the 33 this year. 33 is an all time high for me! i am really trying harder to be good about updating my blog. usually what happens about now is that i start to think that no one really wants to hear about my life. usually because it is to boring but now days i think it has more to do with the downer level. i will do my best to do the occasional fun/light post. Even better i will try to mean it.

i have been wondering what i was going to do for this post for several weeks. it seems like it should be something important. i got nothing. well, nothing new important.

i felt like i was going crazy waiting for emmeline's testing to be done earlier this week. really, really crazy. i think i can say it was probably a new low for me. really, really low. another mother of a child with special needs was trying to console me through the whole thing and said something i was totally feeling. mom's who have medically complicated children usually suffer from post traumatic stress disorder. that is totally what i feel like. so even though things are going well and she passed her test i am still "damaged" from it. i will carry that damage forever. even when it heals there will still be that scar. hopefully it will be enough of reminder next time that i made it through this time to give me a boost. i joke with my friends that say "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger". my response is "yeah or it cripples you forever!"

anyway, i was trying to distract myself. so...i started a sewing project. better yet, i actually finished it!
i got the pattern here. i happened to stumble onto is blog with the random blog button in yet another effort to stay busy.

I just want to say i am totally disgusted with the picture quality here. i hate dealing with the camera and mac non-compatibility so i had to take pictures with my cell and email them to myself. lame.




here is some detail of the face. you can't see very well but each of the pieces were sewn together then to the next biggest piece and so on. and then all the way around the edges. it took a long time.


my finger is super sore and my back was killing me from sitting in a hard chair for so long but i love the results! they are a little big on them still but i would rather to big then to small. the reason my finger still hurts is that i i sewed EVERYTHING by hand. the pattern did not call for that but i was having trouble with the stitch tension on my sewing machine and i didn't want to have to keep puling out stitches. i think i damaged the nerves in the tip of my finger.

i quickly discovered that my mind could still do other things while i sewed stitch after stitch. so...i listened to conference talks. FINALLY. i find even if i turn on conference i don't really get much out of it with the girls around. this was way easier. plus i didn't have to listen to (let's be honest) the boring stuff. anyway, i thought there were quite a few great talks. plus i can enjoy anything by President Eyring :)

i also cleaned. ALOT. i don't think my house has ever been so clean. i was even folding the laundry before it was knee deep in my room. pretty much anything to keep my busy. busy is good. i pretty much enjoy any type of cleaning. except the dishes. that was always the worst job growing up and i still feel that way. no one wants to do the dishes.

i guess this isn't the most exciting 205 and 33 post. my life isn't very glamorous right now. well, not in the way anyone would want to see. i think i built it up to much in my head. i probably do that too much anyway. oh well, a new week with new tests is on it's way.

i think i need to start another sewing project.