The This'

I'm sick. It might be this, this, this, or this. the problem I have is that i also have this and when doctors hear that they stop listening. i can see their point. why waste their time? it's all in my head right?
gosh i hope so. that would be so much easier. but in reality i have had anxiety for as long as i can remember. i'm an old pro at it. i know how it feels. i have never felt like this before. weak, slow, dizzy, loss of focus, nauseous, joint swelling, fatigue, migraines and yes anxious! who wouldn't be when you have been otherwise healthy your whole life and then all of a sudden start falling apart! i feel sick more then i don't. i think it is the not knowing why that freaks me out the most. is it progressive? am i just going to get sicker and sicker until i can't even function? scared and quite frankly at a loss.


Busy, Busy, Busy

so, I pretty much failed my blog goals this year. well, one of them. i really wanted to keep up with this blog a little better then i have the last month or so. i have been busy but nothing out of the ordinary. my drive just wasn't there. i already had to live it, i didn't want to re-live it by typing it all out. anyway.
em's cardiology appointment went well overall. we aren't having surgery in the near future because after a year of doing nothing the hole in her heart has started to close and the swelling that was happening is going down. great news huh? mostly. the down side is, we still can't do nursery or preschool. we can however go the the park and story time at the library as long as there are no visibly sick kids there. so we start her evaluations to get her home bound preschool 4 days a week in a few weeks. :(
also, the orthopedic specialist said he doesn't think she has scoliosis, but that the "curve" they saw is merely positional since there were no other abnormalities or rotations in her spine!
we almost moved out of our apartment and into a house. almost. in the end we decided that moving wasn't the smartest decision for us right now. we did however decide that we have WAY to much stuff! I have spent the better part of 1.5 weeks completely gutting our apartment and ridding it of anything we don't actually use or need. i opted not to do before and after pictures because 1)i always forget until the after and 2) i don't really want people to see how poorly i organize my stuff. i did keep a tally of how many boxes and bags of trash and giveaway stuff left the house.

trash: 14 bags, 5 medium boxes
giveaway: 8 larger boxes, 4 bags

it makes me kind of sad that i have been storing all that crap in the place i am trying to live for the last 2 years. i also scrubbed EVERY surface of our kitchen. it was nasty! which took my almost 9 hours. it feels good to know that whatever is in here now is what we actually need and use. that is not to say that in another month i wont find more stuff to get rid of. i LOVE to get rid of stuff. plus having a clean organized house helps me wrap my brain around my next big task. homeschooling.