The Big Lie

After watching the second to last episode of The Office I can no longer remain silent.  Pam and Jim have one of the worst relationships I have seen on TV in quite some time.  At first it seemed sweet enough.  Boy likes girl, girl is with someone else, boy loves her from afar, boy eventually gets girl.
I will admit as guilty as I felt, I wanted Jim to make a move.  But then not so much.  Sure Roy was a jerk compared to Jim, but does that somehow negate that Jim caused Pam to cheat on her fiance?  Why wasn't this a bigger deal!?  Sure Roy tried to unsuccessfully punch Jim later (which he deserved)  but it still didn't feel like enough.  But that is not my big issue.
My problem with Pam and Jim is how one sided their relationship is.  Jim makes all the sacrifices for their family.  He always supports Pam in her every whim.  He tells her he backs her no matter what.  To follow her dreams, even if it isn't what he wants.  He lets her decide without biasing her with his pouting.  What did Pam do when Jim wanted to follow his big dream?  Sorry honey, but no. Who cares if you could make our family way more money and do something you love!  I'll string you along for a while so you can get really attached to your dream and then cut you off.  Aren't I sweet?  How does Jim respond to this?  Shocked at first but then caves.  Pam, you're a B#$%^.
There are only 2 big things I think Jim ever did that maybe would have scored him some selfish points.  One, buying a house without telling Pam.  I'm not sure this one even counted.  I would LOVE it if a guy bought me a house.  Plus they weren't even married or anything so...it was Jim's money to do with as he pleased.  Suck it Pam.
The other which is rather large, was taking the Job in Philadelphia.  As previously stated, this job made them more money AND was something Jim loved.  But Pam wouldn't give up her apparently great job as office administrator so Jim could live his dream for while.
This gives such a TERRIBLE example of a healthy relationship!!  Why does the guy have to so all the work?  In the latest episode Pam was afraid Jim would resent her if he didn't follow his dream.  I thought "Yay, now they'll be real, and Pam will have support Jim".  Boy was I wrong.  What was the show's answer?  "No Pam, I love you so I'll never resent you".  Yeah freaking right!!!  Yes, he will resent you and probably your children too because YOU ARE SELFISH!!!!  It takes give from both parties to maintain a healthy relationship!!! Why does TV do this?! I blame The Office for high divorce rates.   Even if Pam caves next week and they do move away for Jim to FINALLY get to do a job he can excel at and enjoy, it's a little too late.    I will forever feel sorry for Jim that he happened to fall in love with such a selfish woman.  Suck it up Pam, your not that amazing, you shouldn't push your luck.

Oh, I remembered ONE time Pam didn't get her way right away.  One Halloween Jim refused to dress up like Popeye.  It bothered me that Pam even asked because it was obvious to everyone that Jim didn't like to dress up.  What ends up happening?  Jim caves and dress up anyway.

I would even argue that Dwight and Angela had a more realistic relationship.  Doesn't this sound a little more normal compared to the Utopia of Pam and Jim?
1)  Booty calls
2) Cat euthanization
3) Raising a child that isn't his
4) Being with the wrong person at the wrong time
5) Finally almost wrecking as he proposes marriage

My vote is for Dwight and Angela for the long hall.


Keisha said...

I get what you're saying here (yes, I'm about to have a conversation about these people like they matter). BUT, I also think that even though Jim liked that job and it was good for him and financially good for the family, it didn't seem to be good for Jim. He wasn't the same person. He was serious all the time. He didn't want to hear about his kids when Pam wanted to share stuff about their day. It seemed like his family was an inconvenience and his job was the most important thing. I've never been in a situation like this before, but I know some women whose husbands have really well paying jobs, but they work ALL THE TIME. I know those women would rather have their husbands home and live in a smaller house and clip coupons than have a husband who works all the time and makes a ton of money. Those men like the power that those jobs give to them, but they are missing out on their families! It's the old "no one ever says, I wish I'd spent more at work". I just never want work to be the most important thing. I want my family to be the most important thing. Jobs will come and go, but when you love your family, you change everything to be with them.

Megan said...

I think it's unrealistic to expect Jim to switch gears whenever Pam wants to talk. Normal men can't do that. The only reason he was so laid back at DM is because he didn't have to think. He never progressed and never would. It just feeds into the fact that this gives people a skewed view of marriage. For Pam to react this way because he isn't goofing off and engaged in every thing she says is ridiculous. It just makes that whole "marriage should be easy" thing that I hate.

I could go on and on about this obviously...