My Secret Society Of Silverware

I might have OCD. I say might because I know people that have OCD and they seem pretty crazy. i mean, I'm crazy but I would like to think I'm not that bad. As a matter of fact if I catch myself doing something compulsively I try to do the total opposite just to prove I can. Just to prove it hasn't got me. Maybe proving it doesn't have me is what has me? It's a vicious cycle.
One compulsive thing I just can't seem to beat has haunted me since my childhood. For as long as I can remember I have done it this way. I MUST put the silverware away in a certain order. I know it doesn't sound like a big deal but it is. First I will tell you the order, then I will tell you why and then I will explain the repercussions if I don't use said order.
First goes any big utensils like spatulas, can openers, wooden spoons, then knives, then spoons, last comes forks.
Big stuff first because they are big tough and guard the drawer in which they reside so must be returned quickly.
Second knives, they are the elderly utensil and have earned respect and the right to get back in the drawer next.
Third spoons, they are young and sweet and would get their feelings hurt if they were last.
Last forks, they are mean and bad. They pick on everyone around them and therefore are punished by being last.
If I happen to over look a knife or spoon and get the forks out I have to return at least one fork to the dishwasher and get whatever was left behind out and then get the fork back out. There are more forks then anything in the drawer. If I don't make sure they are absolute last they will gang up on the spoons and pick on them. The knives being old will have a hard time calming everyone down so it's just best to keep the forks in their "place" by making sure they are last.
There, that doesn't sound so bad does it? OK, I know it does. I'm not sure when I came up with the whole plan but I just can't seem to shake it.


Josh said...


Terra said...

Well I don't have those weird reasons for my system but it's still weird. I didn't really realize it until I told one of my friends about it. I could hear the crazy coming out of my mouth.

I wash the dishes in this order ALWAYS or in my head they can't be clean.

Small Plates (because they're babies and babies go first)
Big Plates
Serving bowls
Sharp knives (because I could get hurt with them)
butter knives (because they're straight and I like lines)
Serving utensils (because they're awkward and I don't like awkward)

The worst thing that can happen is that after I've washed everything I find a cup.

I also put them away in the same order.

Matthew said...

I had no idea I was going to be the sane one.

Also, dare I ask what exactly are he spatulas are defending the silverware from?

Megan said...

Oddly, I have never really thought about it. Just threat in general i guess.

Chernobyl said...

Ok, I really thought I was more of a freak than you, but now I'm not so sure. Maybe I'm just more rebellious to routine. I think it might be more fun to let the forks take over for a while. Just to see what happens. Because guess what will happen? Absolutely nothing. Free yourself to macrame, Megan.