Better Off a Hermit

I don't like how emotions make me feel. pretty much every emotion leaves me feeling shaky and slightly nauseous. it's an overall unpleasant experience. so it seems to me that hermits have my dream life. some people want a big house, a nice car, and to be surrounded by friends.

me, not so much. i would love to be in a little shack in the woods where when i felt like i could handle an interaction with another human i could choose to come out. i mean, i haven't totally lost it (i think) so i know i would occasionally enjoy being around other humans. It's just that emotions are 100% overstimulating. my senses can only take so much before they start to shut down. i can fight the shut down for a while and even have about a 40% success rate in delaying it. then i feel shaky and nauseous.

it's like my body processes emotion and a stomach bug the same way. "what is this strange feeling? maybe it's just my imagination. nope, still there. well, maybe if i ignore it it will go away. nope still there. crap! i think i need to puke!"

so, i think it is safe to say that i would rather avoid them. my life doesn't seem to understand that though. or maybe it just doesn't care. either way i seem to end up feeling shaky and nauseous. i bet most people who have to interact with me do as well.

not very articulate i know. maybe i'll do better next time. anyway, i hope i'm not catching.