Fumbling in Reality

Over two months.  I think that is the longest I have ever gone without posting.  It's not that I haven't been doing anything.  I've been quite busy actually.  The thing that got in my way?  Reality.  The harsh reality of life.
As some of you know I have started working part timeish.  I say ish because since November it has bordered on full time.  That has probably fed into my lack of fun things to blog about as well.  More work equals less running time.  Something directly tied to my sanity and creativity.  No running= no fun.  Plus all the work means I'm doing the same things everyday.  The same very boring things everyday. Who wants to hear about that?  I don't even want to know about it!
December was a rough month and the roughness is following me into January.  I lost someone dear and the hole will forever remain. A hole that sometimes makes it difficult to breath.  That sometimes makes me feel like I've been punched in the stomach and left in a heap in the floor.  It makes every part of me ache.  I haven't written about it here in detail and probably wont.  There is no justice to give it.
Others I love are hurting and I feel helpless to help them.  I do what I can but can't help fee like I'm falling short.
I flip flop between numb and throbbing.  But life continues to go on. So I fumble around and try to keep up with it. Keep up with work, school, Josh's work, doctors and church. Some days are more successful than others but most days leave me feeling exhausted and overstimulated.  Hopefully my fumbling is helping something or someone somewhere.

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