sometimes i feel like i'm walking backward. like the wind is blowing in my face and no matter how determined i am to go forward when i start, eventually the wind pushes me back.
part of me wonders why i even go. if i just stood still, and went nowhere, no body would die. maybe. if i wasn't moving then maybe the hits wouldn't feel so hard. the only problem is, no body would get anywhere. and i have responsibilities.
i feel like most people would describe me as paranoid. but sometimes my nightmares are real. all too real.