sometimes i feel like i'm walking backward. like the wind is blowing in my face and no matter how determined i am to go forward when i start, eventually the wind pushes me back.

part of me wonders why i even go. if i just stood still, and went nowhere, no body would die. maybe. if i wasn't moving then maybe the hits wouldn't feel so hard. the only problem is, no body would get anywhere. and i have responsibilities.

i feel like most people would describe me as paranoid. but sometimes my nightmares are real. all too real.


Matthew said...

I'm sorry things are so difficult for you. I wish I could do something to help.

Terra said...

I was listening to the radio while in teh car and a caller told a story about when he was in High School. He and his friends would put one of them on the top of the car and drive as fast as they could, until the person on the car couldn't breath because of the wind force...in any case, I just htink of you as being well prepard- not paranoid :)
P.S I have some percacet I could send you ;)