2019/09/18

Some Superheroes Wear Gentle Leaders

I don't know why it works, but it does. When we started the whole process of getting Emmeline a service dog it was mainly for mobility and to help her in challenging hearing situations. Once we were nearing the final stages before class it became glaringly apparent that we had a much greater need; behavior disruption. 

The older Emmeline got and the more demands that were placed on her the harder it became for her to adapt and function. She needed more time to process, and that wasn't always possible. Everyday is filled with a series of time constrains. Everything is on a schedule. I could expect a violent meltdown almost everyday, especially as we were nearing class. She had a traumatic event last year definitely exacerbated the issues. I had mixed feelings as we neared receiving May. Part of me really wanted this dog now, in hopes that she would be the magic fix, and part of me thought that there is no way I could do more and this was a huge mistake. 

I will admit that most days when we first got home from class ended in the, 'this was a huge mistake' camp. Having a large breed, very energetic dog is a lot of work and there was a learning curve for all of us. Some days were ROUGH. We have all put in a lot of work and the trainers at 4 Paws have been amazing with helping us trouble shoot and answering all my silly questions (and there were many).

There is a phrase that clients use when referring to 4 Paws and their matching system; "4 Paws Magic". I heard people say it and saw people posting pictures of their child and SD cuddling sweetly on the couch, or helping them up the stairs, or taking off their jacket etc. I wanted it bad. None of that was happening for us. May is HUGE and most of their play sessions ended in May accidentally playing too rough and Emmeline getting hurt or knocked over. Bonding is key with this program and it is essential that the child and SD have a strong bond so it made me nervous that they seemed to have such a hard time having positive interactions. Again, the trainers helped us through this process and assured me that we just needed to stay the course. Those who know me know how hard this was too hear. I. Am. Not. Patient. 

This morning, it happened.

Now, I know that we still have a lot of work to continue and that their interactions aren't going to be perfect, but today I cried. I stood in my kitchen and cried tears of relief and joy. Mornings have been rough lately but this morning was...a beating. I had to wake Emmeline up, which is not ideal. Then I dressed her right away in hope it would help her wake up a bit and get going. It did not. I sat her at the counter rather than the couch because I really needed her to stay awake. She disapproved. May was dancing all around her at this point because she knows Emmeline is the only one who can feed her breakfast. That is when shit hit the fan. Emmeline realized that she missed breakfast for lunch at school on Monday, and that was it. There was no putting shoes on, no eating the actual breakfast she had in front of her, no feeding May, no nothing. As soon as she started getting loud and crying May was right by her side, available for pets.  Emmeline started to get violent when I tried brushing her hair. At this point May went for an unprompted "paws up" which involves trying to lay over Emmeline's lap while she is seated. 

(Side note here, I was really worried in class about our match with May. She was so full of energy and it seemed to me that Emmeline needed a calmer dog. The trainer, shout out too Emily Cook, asked me to be patient and explained that since Emmeline got so loud and violent during a breakdown she really needed a resilient dog who would not get scared and avoid her during the episode or after. They. Were. So. Right.)  

The paws up helped a little but Emmeline's wrath was not to be tamed! After I realized paws up wasn't going to be enough, as Emmeline continued to escalate and get more violent, I did a hug restraint, backed into the fridge and sat us both down. May did an immediate "over" to provide deep pressure. 


You can see that at first Emmeline was resisting and refusing to pet May. 


Then she started to relax a bit.


Under a minute in and she had completely stopped the violence but was still crying and yelling bit. I  slid away to get treats for May to help reinforce. 


 Even with the high value treats out May stayed within arms reach of Emmeline, and Emmeline reached! (2 minutes in)


As she was petting May she stopped crying, her breathing slowed...


 and she laughed! 


 May laid down next to her and Emmeline petted and talked to May for a few more minutes. 

Start to finish 6 minutes. In 6 minutes May helped her through something that used to take hours or sometimes all day. Emmeline is at school now. Still tired, but participating with her peers and smiling. That's what I call magic. 






1 comment:

Bonnie said...

Magical,yes, yes but you have earned it hard! It is so going to be worth the wait and all the hard work you are all putting in. Delayed gratification=patience. You have more than you know.