Out With The Old (does that mean I can leave yet?)

I have a ton to do. Nothing I can do right now mind you. That would be to easy. It would also keep my brain busy so I don't go insane but where is the fun in that right? A lot of things are going down that make me sad. As we all know I don't really do emotions (as least not well) so this will most likely get ugly. I have tons of therapy and doctors appointments in the next week or so. I know this doesn't really sound different then my usual schedule but it feels different to me.

Now that Em is almost 3 I have to face the fact that we will be graduating from ECI. My life line for the last (almost) 3 years. Now I am sad when a therapist comes because I now it will soon be the last time. They have worked so hard for our whole family and have become some of my best friends. I feel lost and alone trying to wrap my mind around therapy post ECI. It seems like a constant uphill battle. I don't like those.

One of the doctors is cardiology. Those always freak me out. This is the closest we have ever been to getting her ASD closed so I am super nervous. Nervous for the Yes and nervous for the No. No means my baby still has a whole in her heart. A whole! Yes, means they are going to operate on my baby's heart. Um, kind of important to survival that they don't mess that up. There is also of course the inevitable hospital stay post op. No sleep for me.

The other doctor is Orthopedics. Yep, Em finally has scoliosis. I say finally because we have been screening for this since 6 months old. No idea what this appointment will be like. This alone makes me anxious.

Oh, and did I mention we are moving? Just across town but still. Packing up a whole family is no small feat. Then there is the whole 3rd floor thing. Not really counting on a lot of outside help there. The good thing about moving is going through all my stuff and getting rid of things I have just been storing for the last two years. I love throwing stuff out. It's my favorite.

Add to all this that I gained 6 pounds on vacation so I am now calorie counting again, and you have one emotional Perkins girl. Bring on the Ugly.


Brittany H. said...

I actually like having Claire in school better because I felt like her various therapists weren't doing anything, but it is definitely difficult to jump into something so new--ok, ok, be pushed head first! There really is no "transitioning." My dad is an orthotist, so I hope you get one like him! :) Judging by your post, it looks like bad things really DO come in threes. Good luck with it all. You are pretty much the most amazing person I know.

Megan said...

back at you brittany!

Chesney said...

What? you are moving? Is is out of the ward? I hope you had a somewhat good vacation!

Megan said...

it will probably be out of the boundaries but due to medical stuff (Em) we will be staying in the ward. it was a good vacation. the driving was brutal though.

Chernobyl said...

3rd floor? no problem. Michael is part Incredible Hulk (just less green). I volunteer him to help. But only if you for-really stay in the ward. Otherwise, no help for you. Nothing. You'll be dead to me.

Oh, and best wishes and prayers for your appointments.