2010/01/03

the readjustment...again

so i have to go back to me real life this week. i'm not really ready. i have started making phone calls to get us set back up there. we have a ton of doctor appointments when we get back. plus the fact that it looks like we will be putting Isabella back in school :(
i also found out right before we left that we are getting a new caseworker and a new "julie". oh, and we have emmeline's IFSP review during all this. i am hoping all this will go better in reality then it is in my head. but for some reason i am not optimistic.

i miss my old blog. i bet alot of people probably don't read this anymore. i probably wouldn't. i used to write about funny stuff. i have spent several weeks trying to come up with a "megan" topic but to no avail. man, that makes me sound lame. i miss the people who know me already and know that deep down i am a funny, slightly crazy person. not a crazy, slightly funny person.

i think i am going to have to cut myself off from my support groups. they are great when you have a problem but when everything is going well i just see all of the stuff that could go wrong before it even comes up. i had convinced myself that it helps me prepare for emmeline's future but at this level of anxiety and stress i don't know that i will make it that far.

i miss my bubble.

most of all, i miss the REAL me.


9 comments:

Laura said...

I know what you mean about support groups. People ask me if I am in infertility support groups, but for me it's so hard to hear everybody else's problems when I'm trying to stay hopeful. My prayers go out to you guys.

I miss you Megan! Every now and then Ben and I will say "Why you gotta be actin' so messed up towards me?" Or, "Lura" or "Raise the Roof." If you guys ever make it this way, or vice versa, we have to meet up. SkipBo just isn't the same without Josh cheating:)

Matthew said...

There are those of us out there who know and remember you for who you are.

I'm also an expert in bubbles =)

Bennie said...

The real you will be back. She's busy right now doing more good than she can imagine. And as for being funny, when we first met you, I told Rise, "There's something funny about that girl!" You know I'm kidding. I am so very proud and impressed with you.

Terra said...

Don't you worry your pretty little head- you know I'm here to make you feel a little bit more normal, than well...normal:)

ellen charge said...

soemtiems i dotn read coz theres nothing new to read but us chargers and fams r allways here for each other we soemtiems say we r sisters in the gorup sharign same feeling same they r my family and ur part of it dotn forget that love u my charge mummy

Shiree said...

I still read! And I miss you too!

Kunz said...

hang in there. it doesn't get easier, just changes, gets different, but still hard. Very hard.

AmyCurtis said...

Thanks for sharing your life with us Megan. Just know that we know you and don't expect anything from you. You are still you (and thinking about you still makes me giggle)

Brittany said...

Thanks for making me laugh today. :)