First off i would like to thank everyone who has left me supportive comments and such. It really helped me. that being said here is the situation. i have reached saturation point. well, i think i reached it about a week and a half ago. so i have decided to shut down a bit. i therefore am asking everyone to not try and ask me or talk to me about anything pertaining to my pregnancy. this includes the question "so how are you doing/feeling?" or "i am here if you want/need to talk." this may seem selfish, mean or self destructive but to be honest at this point i really don't care. since i have to make it through this i have decided to do it the only way i can at this point. total disconnection from my emotions and reality until i can't stand it anymore and then a private sob fest followed by another disconnect.
some mental health red flags might be going off for some of you. ignore the urges to "help me". i am well aware that this isn't the "healthiest" way to deal with this situation but this is how it is going to go down. if some of you think you are exempt from this and think you don't need to follow my request i will just say "THIS DOES MEAN YOU!" thanks.