Great Album

josh and i were out shopping so we could spend some christmas money. i was having trouble .

nevermind. i actually can't even think right now. i'm wonder if this happens to alot of people. you know, when you can't even keep a straight thought in your head. it makes you feel a little crazy. but i don't even have time to think i'm crazy before that thought moves on making room for the next loudest. i just feel like i am rocking back and forth, back and forth. like if i keep doing that my mind will slow down. it never does though. i wonder why that is?

have you ever tried to cry. i mean really tried. it isn't very easy. usually you have to think if something sad which defeats the purpose. i try to cry to relieve stress or whatever and if i think of something sad then it just adds to my crappy feeling. i wonder why that is. i mean if you feel bad then you should be able to cry but it is like you are physically incapable.

i like to sit really still. that feels nice. it's weird because i don't get tired when i do that. it just feels good.

music feels good too. i like how it sounds but it is like i can feel it. not all music. it depends on my mood. it feels like a drug. i can feel my muscles relax and get warm.

i wonder what other people think. you see on tv all the time how that happens to someone and they go kind of crazy. i don't think it would bother me. i just wonder if i annoy them as much as they annoy me. i would assume yes.

why don't people just say what they mean? i think it would suck at first but then we would all get used to it and you wouldn't have to figure out what people really mean.

some people make me tingle. not in a sexual way. when i see them or talk to them i feel something. i wonder why?


Matthew said...

I think a lovely trip to see me would be just the thing. We could meet in Europe and have a lovely time.

Mikie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mikie said...

(it's too bad they don't just have an edit button on this thing).

tingle... could you elaborate? Is it a good feeling? Is it exciting? Maybe they radiate something that you can sense?

So your blurb about not being able to cry reminded me of a recent experience.

On the 26th a few members of my family decided it'd be fun to get together for lunch (being Christmas Vacation and all) downtown in Salt Lake City. We went to an Asian restaurant called Five Star and I ordered some fried shrimp as an appetizer. It came with a bowl of dipping sauce-- that is, one side had what was basically ketchup, and the other side what looked quite a bit like mustard. Not quite. I will call it wasabi mustard.

After trying some, my brother could only describe the flavor as "a punch in the mouth", and proceeded to explain to us that actors don't really cry in movies-- they just eat some wasabi and the tears just come flowing.

So Megan, my recommendation to you is, when you just want to cry, go eat some spicier than hell food (wasabi's not bad, but not my favorite. I had tears in my eyes a few times this week from different varieties of spicy Korean food) and just enjoy the tears that ensue. I don't know if it'll make you feel better or not... but I gotta say, that spicy chicken I ate at Sam Hawk the other night, mixed with some of that paste, the kimchi and some rice wrapped in lettuce... that brought tears both of pain and joy. Give it a try ;) If nothing else you may at least forget whatever was making you feel crappy!

Mikie said...

P.S. what the H is the album you are referring to?

megan said...

i never really said what album. actually i was gong to talk about that but then just dumped out what was in my head. i will be doing the post about the album soon. i just forgot to change the title of the post once i changed the actual post.

i will have to try your food recommendation. it sounds yummy.

i can't really elaborate much about the vibration b/c i'm not sure why it happens. just when i get near them i can feel it in my chest, shoulders and arms. it isn't unpleasant. it just feels like a low vibration and then my pulse speeds up for a second. weird huh.

Mikie said...

That's actually kinda cool. What little I know about quantum physics says that people totally emit vibrations, they project an energy, positive or negative. That's cool that you feel literal physical vibrations-- that energy is real. I guess I'm curious what kind of people they are that you're actually picking up vibes from.

I also thought it was fairly clever to put "Great Album" as the title of the post and maybe allude to music at one point but never actually mention a specific album, hehehe.

megan said...

it is hard to say exactly a specific type of people i can feel something from. i can say it never comes from someone i don't trust or like. other than that it is kind of hit or miss. i will have to pay closer attention next time it happens and see if i find a pattern.

Terra said...

I right there with you on everything- except maybe the vibration thing- I remember it haveing happened to me but not recently.
I get realy bad in wal-mart and feel like people are following me even though i know their not. I just feel like turning around and screaming at them to stop!

Lance said...

Wasn't there a Beach Boys song about this, also Marky Mark...

At any rate, cool post, very existential. This vibration/tingle thing may be a gift (or a curse). Does it help you discern anything about someone? Is it comforting? I personally feel the Spirit as a tingle, kind of like a cold chill, but good (not a burning). Do you think the tingle comes from the person, or from you, or from between you two, or where? 'nuf questions...