Up To Something

I got a txt and started frantically searching the Internet.  Hoping it was all a hoax.  No.  My number 1 was number 2 in the rule of 3s.  I started getting txts from friends but couldn't really answer.  My breakfast is still sitting on my desk next to me.  I keep flipping back and forth from wanting to eat everything and nothing.  Nothing is winning.  It's awkward at work. My office is a fish bowl so everyone can see me, but today it doesn't really matter. The people who know me know why I'm upset.
I first saw him in Robin Hood where I loved hating him. Then Sense and Sensibility where I loved loving him. After that, it was a done deal. I think that is where my love of the "older man" really bloomed.  His voice is intoxicating in the best way and he has a magical way of making you feel what he feels. Even as a manically depressed robot.
Part of me feels like today would be the best suited day to finally watch Harry Potter 7.2.  The other part of me is like "ARE YOU CRAZY!!! DON'T DO THAT!!! Having him die in reality and fantasy would be just too much.
He made me see that Snape was a good guy even when everyone else thought he was the worst.  He knew the motivation and even though it wasn't known to the reader then, you could see it. So complicated yet so simple and he made it look effortless. It was some of the best casting I have ever seen. He was exactly how I pictured it.

Josh got me these for Christmas and this was how I arraigned it first thing. It just felt right. Magical.

The hardest part for me about someone dying is that this is all you have to hold you over.  Nothing new. You can redo what you've done but don't get more.  And once that's it, it's hard. Especially when that someone is insanely talented and you know there was so much more in there...