This Wouldn't Happen If I Had A Penis!

My Mom emailed me an article.  It's amazing.  It said, in a much more articulate way, what I have been saying for years. Here is a link.  I highly recommend reading the whole thing but the gist is, society sucks.  OK maybe that wasn't their gist, but it's true.  This particular article is addressing the HUGE gender bias in LDS Church programs for girls VS boys. This short changes not only ALL the women in your life, but society as a whole.  Imagine what they could do if they were given all the options.  Not "girls can do anything boys can do" but "girls AND boys can do anything people can do".

Why are there lesson or statements being made all around us about how to be good men or women?  How about good people?! Why is my daughter being taught that patience is a "motherly attribute"? Do Fathers not need to practice patience too? Train them to be good PEOPLE.

This article is addressing a specific program and I do agree with their points.  But this issue sadly goes way beyond Activity Days.  It's everywhere.  In school, other church programs, homes etc.  Everywhere my daughters go they are being programmed.  Programmed to be women. To be pretty, wear the right clothes, keep an organized home, say the right thing, be smart (but not smarter than Timmy),  and don't question things. It's disgusting.

Whether it's 7th grade, turning 12, being in full public school or most likely a combo of all those things, Isa has changed.  I, like the author, have seen the light going out of my daughter's eye.  She is making academic choices for social reasons.  She reaches for her iPad before her homework.  She needs certain things with certain labels.  She wants to wear heels, makeup, push up bras and whiten her teeth.  She is picking herself apart physically and finding herself lacking. Lacking from what? Who told her that her main goal as a 12 year old is to look "better"? Meanwhile boys are showing up in sweatshirts and basketball shorts. They probably got up 10 minutes ago and my daughter spent more than that brushing her hair.  She is asking me for things to "improve" her appearance but not  her brain. She reads less and is looking for a screen more.  Last Christmas she asked for a bike.  This Christmas, iPad covers of her favorite TV show and name brand shoes. 6 months ago she told me her favorite celebrity was Neil Degrasse Tyson.  Now I'm afraid to ask.

Try as I might I can't seem to stop it.  I feel like I'm trying to hold back a tidal wave of preconceived ideas of what my daughter should be before they crush and change her into what a "girl" is.  It's impossible, she's already drowning. It's coming at her from every side. It's ingrained so deep in the world that she can't escape it.

 Right now she wants to be an Immunochemist which I think is crazy awesome.  I hate that she will have to work harder than her male counterparts though.  She'll be in a constant battle to prove that she is just as good as a boy and I just pray it doesn't wear her down. In school and work.  To make it even more fun she will also get paid less.  Because she's a girl. Her lack of penis was the only mark against her society needed to decide her fate.

WHY DO WE STILL HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS?!?!?!  Seriously.

I guess they are afraid she will "think with her lady parts". That would be a great T-shirt slogan for a feminist group.  " I think with my lady parts". Probably to clever for the masses though.

 

Sorry, you'll have to click the little "YouTube" in the corner to open the video.  It's worth it.

Forevermore

 I've always been lucky to have great men in my life.  My Uncle John was one of the more awesome. It's been almost a year since he passed away.  My heart still hurts from it.  All the time.  I think there are things that happen that make us sad, maybe really sad, but there are only a few that make that mark on your heart. That whatever portion of your heart that held that person permanently aches from their absence.

 I keep hoping that if I ignore it, next Tuesday wont come.  Just like how I wish I could not think about that moment when my Dad called to tell me.  But Tuesday is coming and I think about it constantly.  Knowing the pain and sorrow that's coming is hard.  I want to block it out but I feel like I'm really blocking out him.

My Uncle John was amazing.  He loved me.  I always knew he did.  He always had a hug and helping hand.  Even if sometimes the helping was really gross (thinking of the time he found Emmleine on the stairs with her g-tube at her feet along with everything that had been in her stomach. As her mother I can say it is NASTY.  Bet he didn't expect he'd run into that!).  The night he took all  us kids to an impromptu late night trip to Phaser Land was one of my fondest memories. Even if I did end up domino knocking down quite a few barriers because I was/am so clumsy. He was very giving and hard working and I admired that.  He made people smile.

Thinking about him makes me miss him more.  Knowing I wont have that hug and "Hi sweetheart!" as our next family get together is painful.  I want more.  So many more. But I'm glad I had the ones I did and I hold them close to my heart.  It's how I know he loved me. I hope I hugged back tight enough that he knew how much I loved him too. And always will.

Two wild and crazy guys!