I Just Don't Think I Can Do It

I am in trouble. The legal kind. I signed a contract that I don't think I can fulfill. I agreed that if Josh read all the Harry Potter book and watched all the movies and then discussed them in detail with me we could have a weekend away from the kids. Both of us haven't spent the night away from the girls since Emmeline was born. 3.5 long years. Sounds like a good deal right? Here is my problem. I'm not sure I can watch the last 3 movies.

I REALLY love Harry Potter. I know that is no surprise to any of you.

I have a very hard time mentally separating myself from the story. This will make the movie watching problematic on two fronts. 1) No matter how well they recreate the books it wont be good enough. 2) When the last movie ends it's really over.

Movie 4 was the turning point for me. I realized there was no way they could fulfill my fantasy. No way they could recreate the magical world I had spent years and years imagining in my head. It was disappointing to say the least. I tried very hard to separate the Harry Potter books form the movies about a bot named Harry Potter. It's like someone taking something you know pretty much everything about and having them tell other people about it with only 70% accuracy. So very frustrating.

The last 2 book were filled with the most emotion for me. I knew if things didn't happen soon they wouldn't happen. I was torn with certain plot points Rowling chose to expand on and the ones she left sadly untold. I grew to resent some characters and fall madly in love with others. My imagination and emotions ran wild as I went with the characters on their amazing adventures. It was so liberating. Then, I read the last page of their story. The end of my liberation came. Character's were developed as much as they were going to be and I was left wanting more. Some would say that is what makes a good story. I disagree. I like things to be resolved and wrapped up with a pretty bow. I know that sounds boring. If it doesn't happen though I worry. Yes I am aware that I am worrying about people who aren't real. In my imagination they are very real though.

Yes I have read all the book multiple times and I know how everything ends. But once I watch that last movie, it's really, really over. There are no more surprises. No more suspense. No more hoping "maybe they'll get this one right". I just have to take what is there and accept it. Accept the fantasy that will never be brought to life. I just don't think I can do it.