Out With The Old (does that mean I can leave yet?)

I have a ton to do. Nothing I can do right now mind you. That would be to easy. It would also keep my brain busy so I don't go insane but where is the fun in that right? A lot of things are going down that make me sad. As we all know I don't really do emotions (as least not well) so this will most likely get ugly. I have tons of therapy and doctors appointments in the next week or so. I know this doesn't really sound different then my usual schedule but it feels different to me.

Now that Em is almost 3 I have to face the fact that we will be graduating from ECI. My life line for the last (almost) 3 years. Now I am sad when a therapist comes because I now it will soon be the last time. They have worked so hard for our whole family and have become some of my best friends. I feel lost and alone trying to wrap my mind around therapy post ECI. It seems like a constant uphill battle. I don't like those.

One of the doctors is cardiology. Those always freak me out. This is the closest we have ever been to getting her ASD closed so I am super nervous. Nervous for the Yes and nervous for the No. No means my baby still has a whole in her heart. A whole! Yes, means they are going to operate on my baby's heart. Um, kind of important to survival that they don't mess that up. There is also of course the inevitable hospital stay post op. No sleep for me.

The other doctor is Orthopedics. Yep, Em finally has scoliosis. I say finally because we have been screening for this since 6 months old. No idea what this appointment will be like. This alone makes me anxious.

Oh, and did I mention we are moving? Just across town but still. Packing up a whole family is no small feat. Then there is the whole 3rd floor thing. Not really counting on a lot of outside help there. The good thing about moving is going through all my stuff and getting rid of things I have just been storing for the last two years. I love throwing stuff out. It's my favorite.

Add to all this that I gained 6 pounds on vacation so I am now calorie counting again, and you have one emotional Perkins girl. Bring on the Ugly.

Blog Blah

i am feeling kind of blog blah. if that wasn't already painfully obvious. i can either go two ways. a picture post which at this point in our vacation seems totally overwhelming, or doing a "how i feel" post and those usually get ugly. so here i am. stuck and sick and tired.

on an up side my mystery joint pain and swelling seem to have gone away but seems to have left nausea behind. our vacation isn't really ending up to be much of a vacation. of course there has been family drama and WAY to much driving. em apparently hates car rides. she cries for the first 3-4 hours, then passes out, naps for about an hour and then is pretty pleasant for a few hours. then you better be there. isa has been a trooper. pretty much goes wherever, whenever and for however long you want.
i am kind of scared to get home. we have a bunch of big doctor appointments and i am a nervous wreck about them. maybe i should do a post about that. maybe.

on of the things i don't care for on vacation is that everyone you are seeing already wants to know when you will be back again and you haven't even left yet. drama.

isa is getting baptized on Saturday and it makes me feel old and unprepared. she is such a mature cutie.

i think my baby might be possessed. anyone know a good priest?

i made it up the big hill at my parent's house twice without stopping running.

em finally decided to nap 4.5 hours late. on my chest while i type. i'm serious about that priest.